Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Payal - of now...

Chinese lamps over the table. Pale yellow light right above them causing shadow and making their faces visible right in front of each other.

Payal wearing a formal white shirt with long collars and Amit this time in grey T-Shit signifying the Friday dress. Both quite for last 10 minutes and waiting for the specific wine Amit asked for.

Amit again serious of what’s going on next had now questions for Payal and not having any intention to start any conversation for him this is a time when he feels he is living for a moment.
He is married and has a wife for whom he is responsible at home any other person who looks at him this way will actually hate him. Marriage is a very inevitable situation for him now. His wife is true in many aspects, she loves him is it home taking care of his kid but reality.. no body knows. He is afraid to spend a full day at home, his wife is under a depression and he is not responsible at all for that. May be marrying a richer family than his is a reason where her own family members disowned his wife impacting her to hate Amit completely. They both are together for their kid whom they both love and looking back at their own childhood do not want to give their child what they got from there estranged parents. They are quite and as soon as their baby goes to crèche or school all the frustration comes back to them. Amit who has now developed a technique about weekends is quite sure that this time is going to be a black hole, every Monday he is going to forget this weekend and he needs to make sure either he needs to stay quiet of whatever his wife is going to say or do. And that’s all its been for last 2 years his weekends are spent and he finds various excuses to stay in office or at work to avoid late night conflicts and weekends at home.

Payal came to him as an excuse to feel some importance of his own. He can talk about many things from his hobby of photography to travel to movies. And he is aware of what is going to bring on to him. As of now he is living a moment with another person who needs him and they are fine with even sending a text message or FB updates, meeting every day is not possible but selecting moments like pearls in an ocean.

Finally the silence broke and Payal started talking about her work and boss whom she hates so much. She has a nick name for his boss “Ganna” Sugarcane stick as per his appearance and was talking about what she chats about him with her friends. She knows about Amit and family, he spilled it out once on phone and never talked about it again. She is 27 now and has spent many now as a single and workaholic now can’t even thing of a change but he considers Amit as a way out for herself. She knows they can’t get married now and may be never. Many times she thinks of his wife or if she really owns him, she can really take care of him well and can she look for him when she will need him. She can’t. But why should it be the same way. She had 2 men in his life earlier what lead to all breakups ownership, control, insecurity not selfless devotion its not possible and its reality. Today’s world where both men and women work 12 hours a day where’s for being selfless. At one point you are selfish for your own career or survival. You are at a risk to lose it all. Then why not to be selfless like the way we are right now… a single sms late at night makes her feel of him and what he is doing right now. A phone call or email with good morning sms not every day but one in a month makes herself to be special. It can’t be every day she might be in love again or never but as of now this is the right way to live and be ourselves.

Amit finally starts talking about his work and recent Salman-Katrina movie, knowing Payal hates Katrina as she calls Salman as her first love. After the 1st glass of wine his mood is and mind is around Payal and continuous chatter from traffic, to cab driver’s family problem, to management problems, to shy next door guy, to Sarojani Nagar Shopping, to her pending compensatory leaves in office….

Friday, October 16, 2009

Happy Diwali

Hi All,

Happy Diwali to all of my friends.

It is my sixth diwali in this city now, alot to tell about me and city will be getting back to writing seriously now.

Thank you for your comments and emails really encouraging.

P.S. I am still in draft version to complete 'The Night Out' story will be uploading it soon.

Enjoy Guys !!!!

Monday, September 21, 2009

The Night Out....


It was almost 6 months now, me getting busier in job and Payal she was with Ritesh in weekdays and on weekends when she used to be at home sulking and drinking (I will be telling you about Payal later, today I am in mood to write about myself).

One Saturday morning when Payal was off for her official visit to Banglore, I called my call center friend asking her plans for weekend and as usual she was going to have a blast again and was equally excited that I will be joining her. For her I was the a techie angel who was always their to help her with major issues but for me being a normal technical resource were quite simple to handle that any body could do.
What to call her say Meera, a calling agent who was always talk of our floor of what she is wearing today and if she is out in smoking lunge. She was a bindaas girl with an attitude of work harder and party harder. Handling the most difficult modules of calling her boss used to be quite happy with her to give her frequent offs and ignoring her regular smoking and her out of the blue rather short and sizzling dresses.

I dressed consciously in jeans and tube top covered with a white shirt.
Well I was actually 23 and without a man in my life, saw myself in mirror the afternoon and had to go to parlor to get the hairs done.

She was going out for a party to a pub in C.P. which I have also heard was one of the best. I have been out earlier loved dancing but that was with the protective cover of Payal and her friends. That day I was alone and free.
Meera came on an a cool SUV driven by a handsome guy with the front seat empty for me she was sitting behind with her current boy friend. For me without Payal going with her was a making be nervous. I was there and all of them were smoking sharing the same cigarette which I suspected was not only tobacco. While the music inside was groovy and lively laughter of Payal and his boy friend Vicky another calling agent waiting to go for MBA to US and passing his time for a couple of months in the calling job which he said would improve his Accent and also his rich dad wanted him to have fun. He owned the SUV and the guy driving was his cousin Mahi

While the SUV scrolled through the road Payal and Vicky actually started kissing at the back seat with the sounds which actually made me awkward and Mahi noticed it making the music louder and started talking to me about movies and video games. I sensed his care but still felt that he was another Vicky types looking for the nights fun with a lonely girl.

As we reached the Bouncers knew all three of them quite well and we found a place at last corner of Disc from where we could see everybody over there, the Disc was packed and most of them were guys like us and few foreigners. The music DJ was awesome who was playing the songs in a sequence sensing what people are going to like next, it was dark lit up with blue roads of light at the bar which was making it look like the only street light on in a long dark street.

People around me were of many types some happy as happy that they were not so through the whole week, some lost friends, everybody appeared happy all around with the effect of the liquor nobody can be like this but yaa that place was a happy place some glances being exchanged so banging on each other pouring a drink on other cloths no body actually minds.

In that happy happy place around me which was dark with bodies moving in a grooving layers.
At our table Mahi was out to fetch drinks and Meera and Vicky in their own world, Meera talking countinuosly about everything she could think of, about with how much effort she found the lip gloss she is wearing which he destroyed and the string he wears on his neck which always causes her rashes. It was on and on when they both disappeared in the dancing floor. When Mahi came we were alone and he started talking about me and was listing with interest about my interest in books and movies he was right in front of me. And made me feel a lot comfortable but that was a loud place the more I spoke louder I was already down with four Breezers and was in a happy mood like anybody else around me.

He was there with now a more bright eyes and wider smile, the gelled hairs now shining making the long well settled lines visible and making I believe every women around him tempting to touch his hairs and destroy it completely.
Neither him nor me were really interested to dance while Meer and Vicky came had a shot and went back to dancing.

He finally broke the silence when he trying to listen me clear came and sat next to me on the same couch…

Delhi-6 ???.... It's Delhi ∞


Well coincidently the post number is also 6.
Yes I loved the movie ( Delhi 6) as I really felt it.
For Delhi I can write on and on.

It's my 1st attempt for city I love the most.

Delhi, the capital city of India, the happening city with a lot of prospects all around you, as we youngsters think when we come here and join the branded offices, from an unknown small start ups in small towns now we become a part of a big brands bringing smiles to our parents face when our dads or moms talk telling their office colleagues or chatterbox next door neighbours Aunties who are more of interested when they are marrying of their daughters.

Here we are the proud symbols of our parents who are busy with getting either adjusted in a new dream.

But actually it’s a mad house, like many mad people some due to career, money, ambition and some for mare survival.

All the rush around us, people and people everywhere around us.
Running for buses in morning, waiting for Auto Rikshas, watching the wrist watches to confirm when will they be reaching office today, some trying to get into the DTC Bus and enter 1st into bus, people getting down and rushing into the buses.

The rush hour traffic when the cars moved from bumper to bumper through the life line of Delhi the Ring Road which circles the Delhi and provides an easy route for long distance travelers.

Some do say its madness but somehow I found it encouraging when I started off. Travelling an hour or two in cab was not an issue when I used to see other people hanging on the edges of DTC buses or women crushed inside the ladies corner in buses.

Everybody is a struggler here, if you are not then the city says get out of here there is no place for those who sulk there is a lot here to do so get on and bang on your target, it can be you business or it can be your next switch to the next company. You have to get it over start off and struggle your way out.

My office being a support for call center as well was quite happening unlike other Software Companies where people are quite boring, girls mostly into themselves and most of them married with 1-2 years of their professional experience, no question of parties and happening weekends question of smoking and chilling out is far off.

And Guys they no doubt are hard working, but always into this money saving habits which makes them totally aloof of what actually the fun is all about. Luckily mine was different we had a quite happening weekends where the groups used to plan out a disc party and so many other things, we were cool we were happening and we knew how to live life. Tell then that’s what we knew what’s it all about.

Payal's Story 2


I was on my third peg of Vodka now, and Payal on her fifth. No words nothing I just said can I look at his Amit's. She handed me her mobile with his pic from her pic gallery.
He was fair, with broad forehead, broad jaws and a flat nose. He was wearing a white shirt and a smile with one of his cheeks bent to give a dimple or two.

“He is cute”.

“Yes, he is my life”.

She continued...

“Then he said no words that day, my office cab was waiting and handed over his business card

“Please smile, it actually suits you”
As I just looked at him with blank eyes. He continued, “Really!”

I couldn’t stop smiling with his lively eyes. I had his card and was amazed to see his office is next to mine in Gurgaon and invited him for lunch to say thanks. And ever since that day Amit was out of my life completely his defeated eyes gave me enough satisfaction now.

So, here we are dating for more then an year now, he is going to get divorce and I hope every thing will be all good.

I raise the last toss and murmered, “Ameen”.

I really do not know when we both dosed off.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Payal's Story


That day she told me everything about him. (But why a married man?)

She started with her eyes closed as if it was a pleasure for her talking or even thinking of him...

”I was in Lounge of Taj, after our corporate meeting waiting for office cab to drop me home. Thinking about my previous boy friend who was in a Bombay, we had passed from the same collage and had never had any other guy in my life. Ever since he shifted to Bombay the long distance relationship started with a stimulated determination.
Initially him getting to know “Where I am, What am I doing, Who is with me” used to amuse me and a thought somebody is actually caring about me today. But I had a lifestyle due to the job I have, going out for dinners with foreign clients is a part of it, hanging out with friends since he is not around is a part of it. But he started getting panicky about all. I on other hand was sure that this is it, I love him and I am honest.
One day it all changed my mobile was switched off and he took it as my reason to be escaped from his steady eyes. Next day the things he told me I tried to tell myself were his insecurity. And after that ever his every word every question used started pinching me right at my heart. His questions which were earlier adorable now became awful. And then to get away from him I started with drinks bet it never helped.

That day I was sitting there with a formal suit with wet eyes, he was in town and one of my dear friend had told him of where I am.
He was expected to come there.
I don’t know after two years of our separation what he actually wanted from me. Recollecting myself. I went to the last corner of the Lounge next to Ritesh. He was working on his laptop dressed casually as if he was a regular here. He noticed me and I thinking of Amit of what he is coming here for ( his name is Amit, I just wanted to avoid taking this name again). Ritesh looked at me and smiled and got back to his work.

I never wanted to be there wanted to run away but wanted to be there to look at him Amit once again. Took out a book from my bag and while scrolling through pages which I never read just looked at the numbers on pages to remember where I had left it earlier. As I looked at reception Amit was there.

But, not Alone.

He was there with his girlfriend the way he had his arms across her waist. I saw him for the first time with another girl that just made look at the book with my tilted eyebrows, my eyebags coming out I just wanted to through away the flower pot right in front of me at him. They both have not noticed me yet may be they were still enquiring about my official meeting’s venue.
I just looked at them and went back to that book, the letters of which were not legible at all to me, all I was hearing was my long breath and my heartbeat which where both hating him. So he is here to show of his girl friend. How dare he could do this. How dare he can. Oh my god I was saying this loud and clear And Ritesh heard it really well.
I looked at Ritesh and he was looking at me. His eyes had concern and a question

“What Happened”.
I got up and went straight to his table.

“Can I share the table with you, If you don’t mind”.

“Yes sure, shall I order some thing for you, some water”

“Yes Some water will do”

“Do you know that guy who is waiting at reception counter?”
As I looked at his eyes, they were concerned and as if he guessed every thing right.

“He is my ex, I don’t know why the hell he is here, I am waiting for my office cab after the meeting”

He said with a smile, “I can guess why he is here, If you allow we can give him a tit for tat”


“What’s your name?”


“I am Ritesh, I work for Amex and I come here to write a novel you can say nit published yet”

“Let’s call your friend to this table and leave everything to me”

I had no words, He guessed everything right.
He sent a steward with a message that Payal is waiting for him in Lounge. And as he was coming with and arm around that bitch talking to him with a smile and occasionally getting close to his ears to say something with a smile to which both of them laughed at each other.

“He is a real bastard”

Ritesh now shifted the chair next to me and closed his laptop now not looking at him. As Amit looked at us. He went quite now only that bitch was talking and he was nodding to her talks.

“Hi Amit, this is Ritesh Khanna here, I hope you know Payal, she recognized you while you were at reception”, he stood up to shake hands with him.

I was now looking at him with straight in his eyes. He on other hand was now quite with a flat face that I had never seen before. He turned his eyes to look at Ritesh and looking at him now. If he had heard me what I was saying he could hear it,


“We planned to have dinner here”

“But steward told us you were enquiring for Payal”
This was now a bombshell which landed right at his face exploding that arrogant face into pieces of his sweat. He was not looking at me now, he can never find courage to look at me.

“I, yaa somebody told me she is here for a meeting so just came here”

“Why?” I said with a tone so sharp that the flower pot right in front might had broken.

Ritesh noticed it and avoiding any thing else and considering the work is done. Held my hand and said, “Payal, you know the time, I have been waiting here for couple of hours, now I think we should leave or your watchman won’t let us in.

Amit had nothing to say he was frozen, almost white face with eyes which didn’t understood where to look at, now his hand off the bitch he was carrying. Ritesh closed the laptop and stood up to leave. Some how I was not done yet, having Ritesh by my side gave me the confidence to swear him little loud so that he and his bitch can hear it properly. Ritesh held my hand and we moved forward and were soon out of it.

Monday, August 17, 2009

First Night (contd.)



Has Payal become a whore?

the first thought which came to my mind. She was coming out of Bath Room when I was looking at her, wearing a white t-shirt with short blue checked shorts, wet hairs and no spectacles made her look sensual...
I started looking at her eyes and she was not looking at me at all.

"Missing mom?" as she asked me in a soft and slow voice that i had to guess the last word. But she was still not looking at me.

And I was stunned almost thinking about her that what is she now... a paid sex worker, getting laid of for money? getting fucked by guys who are already married... What future she has now? what was need to get into all this she is already into a good job?

As few drops of tears dropped off my eyes she ran of towards me and asked about what happened to me.
I gave her the cell phone with the message still on it screen.

"How could you do this Payal?"

"I am getting married to him, he will be giving divorce to his wife soon."

Her eyes flushed with a hope and then suddenly looked at me.

"Why what you thought"

Giving a big smile she just started pouring a neta vodka shot, and said.

"You bitch!!!"

And I smiled with a relief.

"His name is Ritesh, works in the same building my where my office is".