Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Payal - ...as of now...


Chinese lamps over the table. Pale yellow light right above them causing shadow and making their faces visible right in front of each other.

Payal wearing a formal white shirt with long collars and Amit this time in grey T-Shit signifying the Friday dress. Both quite for last 10 minutes and waiting for the specific wine Amit asked for.

Amit again serious of what’s going on next had now questions for Payal and not having any intention to start any conversation for him this is a time when he feels he is living for a moment.
He is married and has a wife for whom he is responsible at home any other person who looks at him this way will actually hate him. Marriage is a very inevitable situation for him now. His wife is true in many aspects, she loves him is it home taking care of his kid but reality.. no body knows. He is afraid to spend a full day at home, his wife is under a depression and he is not responsible at all for that. May be marrying a richer family than his is a reason where her own family members disowned his wife impacting her to hate Amit completely. They both are together for their kid whom they both love and looking back at their own childhood do not want to give their child what they got from there estranged parents. They are quite and as soon as their baby goes to crèche or school all the frustration comes back to them. Amit who has now developed a technique about weekends is quite sure that this time is going to be a black hole, every Monday he is going to forget this weekend and he needs to make sure either he needs to stay quiet of whatever his wife is going to say or do. And that’s all its been for last 2 years his weekends are spent and he finds various excuses to stay in office or at work to avoid late night conflicts and weekends at home.

Payal came to him as an excuse to feel some importance of his own. He can talk about many things from his hobby of photography to travel to movies. And he is aware of what is going to bring on to him. As of now he is living a moment with another person who needs him and they are fine with even sending a text message or FB updates, meeting every day is not possible but selecting moments like pearls in an ocean.

Finally the silence broke and Payal started talking about her work and boss whom she hates so much. She has a nick name for his boss “Ganna” Sugarcane stick as per his appearance and was talking about what she chats about him with her friends. She knows about Amit and family, he spilled it out once on phone and never talked about it again. She is 27 now and has spent many now as a single and workaholic now can’t even thing of a change but he considers Amit as a way out for herself. She knows they can’t get married now and may be never. Many times she thinks of his wife or if she really owns him, she can really take care of him well and can she look for him when she will need him. She can’t. But why should it be the same way. She had 2 men in his life earlier what lead to all breakups ownership, control, insecurity not selfless devotion its not possible and its reality. Today’s world where both men and women work 12 hours a day where’s for being selfless. At one point you are selfish for your own career or survival. You are at a risk to lose it all. Then why not to be selfless like the way we are right now… a single sms late at night makes her feel of him and what he is doing right now. A phone call or email with good morning sms not every day but one in a month makes herself to be special. It can’t be every day she might be in love again or never but as of now this is the right way to live and be ourselves.

Amit finally starts talking about his work and recent Salman-Katrina movie, knowing Payal hates Katrina as she calls Salman as her first love. After the 1st glass of wine his mood is and mind is around Payal and continuous chatter from traffic, to cab driver’s family problem, to management problems, to shy next door guy, to Sarojani Nagar Shopping, to her pending compensatory leaves in office….